All He'd Ever Wanted
by gillian88
Summary: Previously called Pain and Suffering, this had turned from a one off into an ongoing fic. After finding a spell that brings back Harry's dead father, he thinks he has everything. Until strange things start happening to his friends...
1. How did we get here?

Thanks to Emeraldember, bluephoenix36, ejwgirl2 and black-rose23 for reviewing my last fic!

This one should be a bit better, but I'm still learning after all. I'm trying a different theme with this one so I hope someone out their likes it. Be brutal in the reviews! Be nice too, but tell me how to improve please. Oh yeah, and this is not a one off hopefully. Iwill do more chapters when I have time. Please read and review! I can only get better!

Oh, and I don't own Harry Potter yadayadayada and all that stuff too.

Pain and suffering

"Crucio"

The high pitched voice ran through the chamber like a chill down the spine. Harry, who had nearly regained enough energy to stand, fell once again on his knees. He willed himself not to scream, he couldn't, but he could feel the scream running up his body. He screwed his eyes up against the pain, which felt like molten lead, pouring through his veins. His scar was on fire. Then suddenly, he became dimly aware that the pain was leaving. He lay on the floor, unsure if he could move, or if he even wanted to.

"Did you enjoy that potter? Would you like your friends to have a share in our fun? Bring them, Wormtail!"

"Y...y…yes lord…right away sir…"

Harry raised his head a fraction of an inch, to see Wormtail come back into the room with…with Ron. He was conscious, thank god, but Harry could see the pain in his face. He watched, feeling helpless, too weak to do a thing, as wormtail tied his friend to a chair.

"Now Potter, you have a choice. Tell me what I need to know and I'll kill him painlessly. If you don't, I will have no choice but to bring you both great suffering."

"I don't know what you want me to tell you." Harry said desperately, terrified of what would happen to Ron. And it would all be his fault. He didn't care what happened to himself, but he wouldn't let someone else die for his mistakes.

"Tut tut Potter…that simply isn't good enough" Voldemort said, raising his wand, but pointing it directly at Harry.

"No!" thought Harry, but he was not going to say it. He wasn't sure he could survive much more of this.

"Crucio."

For the second time, Harry felt his whole body engulfed in pain. It pulled him down. He knew he was screaming, and didn't care. He wanted to die, anything to make the pain go away. He could hear Ron screaming his name and wanted him to shut up. He was in enough danger as it was. Once again, the pain subsided and Harry was left panting on the floor, wishing to be anywhere but here. "Just let it stop" he thought.

Voldemort seemed not to care about information anymore. He had a mad gleam in his blood red eyes as he turned to Ron.

"Not Ron" thought Harry, "anything but that…kill me"

"Avada…"

Harry screamed, more than he ever had before…

* * *

Sorry about the ending and shortness guys, but I was eager to post this and couldn't think of another way to do it. Blame my English teacher and her confounded essays! 


	2. Meetings and Discoveries

Thank you very, very much to Lotty, Mark, Chaz, CrazyPoet, loonygrl90, Ki, BasketKiwi, Lindsey Bob and alphie42 who all reviewed the first chapter of this story! Also a MASSIVE thanks (no words describe how big) to Becky (beckyadav to you) who is always giving me inspiration. Thank you for your confidence in me, I wish I could find some for myself! You may want another look at the first chapter, because I changed it. I decided randomly to NOT make it a one off, but to make it a James comes back story which I've wanted to do for a while. Anyways I have no plan or plot but hopefully something will figure itself out. These things tend to have a formula, right? I'll stop waffling and let you get on with it, but just be aware that the last chapter WASN'T a dream, which is how it started. Oh, and it's set at the start of Harry's fifth year (damn her and her killing Siriusness!)

* * *

2 weeks earlier…

Harry woke with a start and sat bolt upright in bed. He didn't know what had woken him, but the feeling he had was enough to send a cold shiver up his back. His eyes strained to get used to the dark of his bedroom. He thought he caught something out the corner of his eye, but it was just a shadow. "I have to get more sleep…" he said wearily, but how could he? How could he sleep when he was reliving Cedric's death every night? The memories were so clear and painful that some days he was sure he would slip into a trance and be lost in them forever.

Harry sighed, and put on his glasses. Running his fingers through his hair, he looked over at Ron, sleeping peacefully and felt a familiar sense of jealousy. What he wouldn't give for a normal life. But he knew it wasn't for him.

He'd come to the burrow after a week at the Dursleys, for which he was incredibly grateful. Aside from Hogwarts, this was the only place he truly felt at home. The fact that there were people all around him that cared…really _cared _was so warming. But no matter how much he loved it here and at school, there would always be a gap. A huge gaping hole left in him from the minute his parents were removed from his life. He knew there was no point dwelling on the past but it was so hard when he saw that everyone else had what he so desperately coveted…

* * *

"Wake up Harry!"

"What…why?" Harry groaned and rolled over. It hadn't been a good night.

"Cos we're going to Diagon Alley! Hermione's meeting us…remember?"

Harry looked up into the eager face of his best friend and suppressed a laugh.

"All right, fine."

Half an hour later, and the two were stepping out of a fire in The Leaky Cauldron. Harry was more than a little relieved to be here safely-he hated travelling by floo. 

They had a fun morning, walking around and talking about all the things they'd buy if they had the money. Well, Ron was. Harry was getting more and more embarrassed and thinking that he had bought most of the things that Ron wanted so much. He enjoyed himself, though, and quickly forgot his dream from the previous night as well as his other worries. At lunch they met up with Hermione and Harry was just thinking that he couldn't be happier…well, not much anyway. Then the inevitable happened.

"We should really go and buy our books you know. And have you two done all your homework? There's only 4 weeks left of the holidays left. I did it all in the first week of course but if we don't get the new books now there won't be any time to read them all before we go back. And it's an important year, OWL year. One of the hardest so it wouldn't help to…"

Harry had tuned her out by now; he was used to the speech she gave them every year. Or, more correctly, the speeches she gave them all the time. It seemed, however, that Ron was not as capable of ignoring Hermione's tirade.

"Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

Hermione sniffed and stalked away. Harry followed her, beckoning Ron to do the same. It was just easier in the long run. They entered Flourish and Blotts, and split up to look for their books.

Harry wondered round, deciding it was best not to point out to Hermione that he didn't have his list and therefore didn't know what books to get. He could ask her, but she'd only stare disapprovingly. And in any case, he wanted to enjoy himself and this felt far too much like real work. He pulled some books off the shelf, not relay paying attention to what he was doing, when something caught his eye. He'd just got "How to get revenge…the Amalga Toadbury way!" from a shelf when a small, torn piece of parchment fluttered out. Picking it up and reading the title at the front, Harry felt his heart threaten to stop. It wasn't the fact that at that moment, there was a small explosion in the shop (quite normal), or the fact that the title at the top of the parchment was "Retorne Vita", which meant nothing to him. It was what it said underneath this:

"Restore life to a lost loved one. The only known spell to reincarnate the dead."

* * *

Argh! I'm so terribly aren't I? I hate my writing. I've never done any normal moving the story along type stuff. Sorry the chapter is so short. I hate the ending too, god I need more confidence. It will eventually link to the first chapter I promise, providing it takes less than 5 months to update…sorry about that. I may even make a plan! Please review, I can really only get better but I need your helpful criticism (be nice though!). And tell me if there's something that should happen in this story cos I have NO idea! I'm pretty busy so updates will be a while. But now that I'm working on something I shouldn't be too bad. 


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